With the millennium fast approaching and Armageddon just around the corner, one fundamental question lingers: how will it all come down? In search of an answer, James Finn Garner conducted an exhaustive and hilarious examination of nearly every source readily available for predicting the future, including boiled tea leaves, crystal balls, and severed donkey heads. With plenty of wit and tongue planted firmly in cheek, Garner seeks to uncover the universal truths behind crop circles, harmonic convergence, and channeling. Continuing the irreverent style he established with his bestselling Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, he has fun with conspiracy theorists and shysters alike, providing a fun read for those not busy stockpiling provisions.