Against My Better Judgment: An Intimate Memoir of an Eminent Gay Psychologist is an extraordinary and moving account of the life of a gay man in his late 60s after he loses his companion of 40 years to cancer. A leading professor of psychology at Harvard University, Roger Brown bravely comes forth with his compelling story of grief, loneliness, and a relentless search for intimacy, healing, and self-acceptance. Readers gain insight into a stage of life experienced by gay men of which little is written or spoken due to the ageism that characterizes homosexual culture. Against My Better Judgment reveals deeply personal truths that will prepare gay men for what to expect in the later stages of life. Universal in nature, these truths will speak to readers from various lifestyles and of all ages. Readers will recognize the book as a story of looking for love in all the wrong places, but will also see in it a process of discovery--both internal and external. In the aftermath of his lover's death, Brown turns to prostitutes for companionship, for relieving repressed sexual energy, and even for love. Through his unique relationships with three young men, he does not find the romantic love he so desperately seeks, but discovers that his idea of human nature has been formed by his particular life position and association with people who share his values, knowledge, and privileges. Once he goes outside his social and intellectual circle, he acquires a new perspective on life and realize