If you've ever expressed even the slightest bit of dissatisfaction with the current state of your life, you've inevitably gotten the response, Have you tried meditation? Exercise? Joining a cult? Joining an exercise cult? And a variety of other helpful suggestions. This book explores these topics with intellectual essays like I'm Moving to the Woods to Live in a Nightmare Shack and instructional guides such as Are You Hungry or Are You Just Horny? If you learn anything from this book, it should be that a $72 artisanal hand-blown glass cup isn't going to change your life.